It's 3am and you've been hustling your ass off for the past 5 hours trying to build your dream business. Your kids are fast asleep, your spouse hit the sheets hours ago, and you're on what feels like your third shift of the day. You've worked a full day already. Your done the dinner thing, the tuck the kids into bed thing, and now you're sitting at your desk feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders.
The "shoulds" are swirling in your mind.
"I should be further along by now."
"I should do whatever it takes to prove I'm successful."
But they're the wrong shoulds.They aren't the shoulds that your body needs you to hear.
"I should get some rest."
"I should value myself enough to slow down."
How the hustle mentality has hurt us as mompreneurs
I get it. I know exactly why most of us tell ourselves the wrong "shoulds." Some of it is generational (passed down from well-meaning parents). Some of it sexism at it's finest (the idea that because we CAN have it all, we SHOULD have it all, and that means we have to DO it all).
But one big reason we push ourselves beyond our limits is the hustle culture.
"Wooooaaahhhh, Amy. Slow your roll. What ever IS the hustle culture?"
🙂 I'm glad you asked!
Hustle culture is the idea that we need to CONSTANTLY be working, always in the grind, if we're going to build a business worth boasting about it.
It's the flaunty Instagram posts where people show off their expensive trips but claim to have worked the entire time they're on them.
☝️ "You want all this? Be like HER. She never stops. She hustles all day. She works two jobs simultaneously - taking calls for one business while working at her day job. She has 3 kids and still runs 4 businesses and works at ballet recitals because SHE never stops. She will sacrifice anything to get to the top and there is no other way to be successful. She will get there QUICKLY and if you don't get there quickly you are FAILING."
😅 Ok... they don't say it exactly like THAT. But it f*cking FEELS like that, doesn't it?
NO LIE - I am ridiculously grateful and blessed to get to ditch out of work sometimes to hang out at the beach. And I DEFINITELY work on the weekends sometimes so that I CAN take time during the week to do things like that - but that's the thing. I've learned to exchange one for the other! (Read more about my journey to personal freedom by clicking here).
That's not possible for everyone, though.
I can hear you. "The BEACH?! I'm lucky if I can exchange all this work to actually take my kids to the PARK."
Been there.
My kids are older now so my balance looks different but I have BEEN THERE and trust me when I tell you that I GET IT. I've been the up all night parent trying to hustle my way through multiple jobs and university and all the sporting events and the dinners and the tuck ins and whole nine yards. And you know what it got me? Too sick to do any of it.
Yep. It burned me out SO HARD that it flared up my health conditions beyond measure and I had to actually CLOSE my business.
That hustle mentality got me pretty far, huh? 🙄
What is the solution to hustle mentality and how do we find work life balance as mompreneurs?
Ok, so we all know the problem but what the hell is the solution?
The very idea of slowing down feels scary. The messages surround us every day that we need to do more, better, faster. We feel like we need to grow our Instagram pages by thousands of followers per month (and pay someone a bunch of 💵 to hack our way there).
We need to make $1M within our first 5 years of business and at LEAST break the 6-figure mark within the first year or there's no point in trying.
Ugh I'm exhausted just TYPING that.
It's time to break free.
It's time to remember that we aren't 20 years old with no responsibilities, a ton of excess energy, and an ass that won't quit. (OK I have no idea what the ass had to do with this, I'm just getting salty in middle age 😅).
5 Ways you can get yourself into better work-life balance RIGHT NOW
1. Let go of the idea that it has to be done a certain way
This is easier said that done BUT following the next 4 steps will help you get there.
Start by checking in with yourself and asking yourself, "Why do I believe it needs to be done this way, at this pace, etc?" And see if the reasons actually serve you or if they're just hurting you.
2. Unfollow accounts that make you feel like you aren't measuring up
It is 100% OK to unfollow or mute ANY accounts that are making you feel inadequate. Even IF they are great people. Even IF they have amazing knowledge. Even IF you know them personally.
To continually devour these messages is to continue to tell yourself, consciously or unconsciously, that you aren't measuring up. DITCH EM!
You deserve better.
3. Adjust your goals to make room for slow growth
If you've decided that you need to slow down, it's time to take a look at your goals. What's the timetable you have set up for them? Is it realistic to achieve those goals in that timeframe AND make space for yourself in your life?
EXAMPLE - I know that if I strap myself to my office chair, live on caffeine, and sleep 3 hours a night I can crank out a course I've been working on in less than a month. But would I be doing myself any favours? Would I be serving my clients? Would I end up burnt out and sick and need 3 months off to recover (and lose contracts)? You bet! So, I've adjusted my ridiculous timeframe from 1 month to EIGHT MONTHS 😲
4. Commit to slowing down by blocking off time for YOU
Telling yourself that you're committing to slowing down and adjusting your goals is a GREAT way to get STARTED... but let's be honest. How many times have you made a commitment to yourself and then didn't follow through? If you're anything like me, it's been a lot 😅🤷🏻♀️
It's HARD to commit to ourselves, ESPECIALLY when negative self talk and judgement stick their ugly faces into our heads.
So, block off time every day to do the things that make your world feel well-rounded. Block off family time. Block off your lunch break. Block off a date night or a self-care night. Get a babysitter now and then if you need to. GIVE YOURSELF THAT OXYGEN MASK! ❤️
5. Find a like-minded community
A group of people who understands where you're coming from and who SUPPORTS your efforts to care for yourself and find balance in your business can make ALL the difference. Even just supporting THEM can help you keep yourself in check (trust me!)
👇👇👇
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